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Archive for April, 2010

The 19 Undatables


Hey guys, haven’t blog in a while…..not that there are many readers out there lol…anyways, with lots of observation and research, i have come up with the 19 fashion “Hell to the No”….for guys

As men, we like to look sleek and clean….not “uhhhhhhh”….so here are the 19 trends i noticed and would like to not .notice ever again….and there is no such thing as “a guy who looks good in everything”

Embellished jeans


Studded with rivets, designed with crystal swirls, embroidered, tattooed, painted…In your sincere attempt to be “hip,” you have actually ended up dressing like a seventeen-year-old girl. If you want to wear embellished jeans, i would recommend Rock and Republic…its a lil pricey, but hey, its better to spend $250 on a pair of jeans than to look like “she just got off her night shift on Sunset ”

Guylights


Highlighting, frosting, or bleaching your hair. Why is it the guys with the biggest muscles do the girliest things? Go tell your date you’ll pick her up as soon as you’re done “frosting your tips” and let me know how that goes.There is nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, that is appealing about this unless its natural…come guys, if u do this….i have no comment…and if u know someone who does…do me and them a favor and just do “something” about it :))

Mesh clothing



When you wear mesh, are you telling us you’re so hot that if you wore regular clothes they would burst into flames? These clothes are appropriate NOWHERE!!!! I see lots of ppl wearing mesh shirts at the beach…and one thing i must say “either wear a real shirt or don’t wear one at all”

Ed Hardy


If you are over twenty-one and now working for a living, it’s the King of the Douches look. (See: Jon Gosselin.) Absurd. Don’t be a victim. This brand is towards 13-19 years old…..please, if you’re not a douche, looking like 1 ain’t cool

Sunglasses indoors or at night


Comedian Larry David put it best… “You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.” Your swag might be on, but your common sense obviously is not.

Stupid t-shirts


Tell ppl you can’t read and they’ll leave you alone. If it has clever sayings on it, then it perfectly acceptable…but other than that…oh boy, some1 might rip that shirt apart…but not for “that reason”

Overly tan


Most women love a man who looks like he’s spent time outdoors – but there’s a limit. Like being too tan. George Hamilton valiantly attempted this for years, and they still voted him off Dancing with the Stars. There’s a lesson in there somewhere. And, even worse, spray tans. The only reason a man should have a tan is if he’s been in the sun. End of story.

The skullet


That would be the bald head with the long hair in the back. There are no words. I don’t know what to say; I’m confuse with this look

Fur coat


Here’s a thought…give it to me. It will make a lovely throw at the end of my bed. Talk about another douche/arrogant look. Fur on certain part of the garment is okay, but when a man wears a full- on fur….the basterd has issues.

Sports jerseys


Only acceptable at a sporting event. Actually, I take that back. This whole look is just plain queer. And by queer I don’t mean gay. A gay man would never be caught dead in one. They make you look like a big, lumbering seven-year-old.

Leather pants


Trust me, this never really works unless you’re Lenny Kravitz.

Overly cologned


Way to announce yourself six minutes before you actually enter the room. Yowza. Your strong and stanky scent is burning out ppl’s eyes. It’s also ensuring that no matter what we order for dinner, it will taste like Drakkar Noir.

Hair plugs


If your intention was to have women look at nothing but your hairline and visualize how searingly painful that procedure actually was, then this was a success. If it was to cover up the fact that you are losing your hair, then no, it didn’t work. Not even a little.

Tighty whities

Just plain creepy. No, No, just no……For the sakes of you readers…i’m not gonna have a picture for this one

Colored contacts


Wow, this is really terrifying. You look like an alien. Wait, are you sure you’re not here to puncture my ovaries and extract my life beans? Whoever started this trend watches too many Star Wars.

Sideways baseball hat: A.K.A “the Hat Tilt”


Unfortunately, this has become a national epidemic. The fact that you stood in front of a mirror, making your puckered-lipped “I’m so cool” face, popping your “lid” at the perfect angle to get this exact look is so loserish it scares me.

Perm


Your first clue should have been when you went to the salon and realized the only other people getting perms were middle-aged housewives. If your excuse is that you didn’t know this because you did a “home perm,” move yourself up to KISS OF DEATH status.

Tacky polyester suits


We would like to be with men who dress like they are of this era. Otherwise, you just look plain tacky cuz the suit just bring you down from Gucci to Good Will.

Pinky rings


If you’re wearing a pinky ring, let’s consider what you’re telling ppl about yourself. You feel a kinship to fur coats, pimps, Vegas, drug dealers, mobsters, silk shirts, Guidos, and Liberace. If that’s what you want to tell ppl, okay. You just need to understand this look is very limiting. Sex? Fuggheddaboudit!





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